Can I be her?

You walked to me
Slowly, like the movies
Like James Dean,
My version

You talked to me
I listened to your stories
Amazed by how simple words
Meant so special to me

When lights went off
You kissed me,
Soft lips on me
Yes I remember, despite the bottles of alcohol
I swear I recall every bit of it

I know she's there all along
I wish I was her
Can I be her?
I thought every word you said
Were meant for me

Can I be her?
Can I be the one to put a smile on your lips?
I swear I will love your more than she loves you
I will be there, I will be there

Can I be her?
Can I rest my head on your chest?
I knew from the start
You never saw me
Can I be the one?
Can I be her?

Dotonbori

Take me back... 

Drowning and Sinking

I miss my old life, my old self.... I miss the days where I can leisurely spend my weekends on things that I enjoy the most. I admit, a tiny part of me is holding into my "what ifs" questions. What if I did not say yes to the offer? What if I waited a bit longer? What if I pursued my masters application? What if what if..? I am drowning. I am slowly sinking and choking to this life full of responsibilities and expectations. No one will save me. No one will dare to save me. 

Hello Hogwarts Castle! 

Captured using LG G4 manual settings

complicated machine

Have you ever had that experience where in you think that your brain has deleted some important memories of yours? I tend to forget a lot of things nowadays.. Or this might be the alcohol but the thing is I don't drink that often anymore. Or is my overthinking killing the neurons in my brain? I don't know. I just want to write this blog entry so at least I could remember that at one point in my life I have admitted that I tend to forget a lot. I'm having hard time remembering simple password and usernames. Yeah, I guess, I just have to take memory enhancer to keep my brain working... Oh life. My body is indeed a complicated machine...

Mend or Break - Me Before You

Me Before You - What can I say? I cried, my eyes were red and swollen. While waiting for the rolling of the credits to end, I'm anticipating, praying and hoping that a miracle would happen. That Will is alive and that he will marry Louisa and they will live happily ever after. Yes, I'm a sucker for happy ending. I haven't read the book nor read the synopsis that's why the movie brought me into a bit of shock... While trying to grasp everything that happened in the movie, questions started pouring in my mind... Was Louisa's love not enough to change his decision? Who gave Will the right to end his life (I'm a Christian, and I firmly believe that only God has the right to take away Will's life)? Did he (Will) really love Louisa? Did his acts justify his love and sacrifices for Louisa? I guess the answer to these questions can be some up by the lyrics of Ed Sheeran's song Photograph :

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive


Will decided to end his life because he loves his parents and Louisa. He doesn't want them to suffer with him. It's like letting go of all the struggles and burden. A big sacrifice for love indeed. But on the other hand, it's unfair and an act of selfishness. What about the sacrifices of his parents and also of Louisa? Or did Louisa came into the picture too late... The mother should have posted that job vacancy a year or 2 years earlier.. Maybe, just maybe the ending of the story would be different.. 
Maybe Will did the right decision or he made the wrong decision. Only he knows that.. As for Louisa, he will just be a memory - a beautiful and at the same time a very painful one... 
And yes, Ed Sheeran's Photograph is on repeat mode in my ipod... 

Me Before You broke my heart and had me doubt on love. Then again the ending is the nearest thing that might or may happen in reality. If I'm Louisa, to be honest I really don't know if I can still move on from this heart break... Love can either mend or break a person soul. 

When was the last time that I posted a blog?

When was the last time that I posted a blog?  Time flies so fast indeed. What had happened for the past 2 years of my life? Geez I can't even remember every details of it.

Two weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday at the airport, inside the plane, alone.  It was the loneliest birthday for me but nevertheless, I should be thankful because I am alive, I have a job (though stressful), I have friends and most especially I have family to lean on.

I am writing this entry so that I can at least have a post for the year 2016. What should I say? I'm trying to compose all my thoughts at the moment but it seems my mind is vague. Oh yes, I'm still single. It's funny because most of the taxi drivers would ask me if I'm married already or if I do have a family on my own. Do I really look that old? And when I tell them that I am still single, they would ask me "how come?". And I never get tired of telling them the old classic answer "I'm busy" even though I'm not. I don't even know why I'm single. Well most of my friends are single also so I don't bother. Maybe I haven't found my soul mate yet.

I need to stop here. I have to prepare for a big "test" . I cannot tell the details but everytime I remember this "test", I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. Nerve wrecking and mind blowing test!
I wanted to be calm but I can't!!! Worse is I drank a lot of coffee this breakfast so my anxiety is at its peak! Good luck to me!!!!